I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
