Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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