ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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