I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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