so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
