they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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