forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
