i think my tv is drunk
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
