no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
