Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
