Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
