You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wanna passion pit in your ass
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
