we're blogging at a bar
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
