1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
