so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
