i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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