Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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