The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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