I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
