Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
