I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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