I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
