my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
