We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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