Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
