okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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