he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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