we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
