so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
