Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Randomize
