but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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