so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize