dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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