Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
