is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
