Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
