Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
