And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
