Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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