she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
