True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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