So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
