The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
