singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
