your parents love me but you hate me
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
