I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
