So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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