Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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