i would punch a child for taco bell
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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