That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
