the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
