Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
