So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
