awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
