HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
