just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
